Slow Internet and the Loss of Zen

My work email/internet connection feels like dial up (although it isn't). I've been thinking about life 10 years ago when a fast dial up felt like a miracle. Now I want to throw the computer through the window. I've grown very accustomed to internet use. I use it for absolutely everything. And I've become very impatient with less than optimal conditions. I've been wondering about the conditioning changes we go through and how they serve us...and sometimes don't. I've been thinking about this because I have so much time while my pages load and information uploads!

My DMin dissertation and project are about Sabbath time as a rhythmic pattern of behavior that conditions us to let go of control, that creates justice, that builds community, that clears space for rest, and which results in joy. It's quite ironic that even as I delve further and further into God's time that I can't find the patience with something as simple as a slow internet connection. This may say something about how the compartmentalization of experiences means that lessons learned in one part of life doesn't translate to another part of life.

Intellectually, I can accept slow internet as a teaching moment and I can even celebrate the Zen moments that it offers. Experientially, I still want to throw this computer out the window, swear about the ineffectiveness of not-for-profits that believe that "cast offs" and "good enoughs" are sufficient in doing difficult and meaningful work. So, while I can appreciate Zen, I am not experiencing it. I would read more about it if my darn internet would speed up!