Lent Confessions

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This Lent I'm going to get real about some of my darker traits. I am going to look at them and consider them in private. And, from time to time, I'm going to share some of them here. Consider this a kind of community confessional. So, here's confession #1.

Why I think I could kill some people: I typically hold a fairly pacifist stance - generally speaking. I realize that sometimes the violent aggressions of some may require a violent response. And so, I break with true pacifists. That said, I'm about to state how I betray my own internal ethics. 

I really and truly want to hurt people - really hurt them - when I see animal abuse and unethical hunting. The killing of endangered species evokes a violence in me that is incredibly disturbing. I believe that I actually could take a person's life without regret - not just to stop the imminent threat to an endangered animal, but just out of rage and spite. This is a disturbing truth. 

To be honest, I'm not quite sure what spiritual intervention I would like from the Holy One. I don't want to "be okay" with the rapacious greed of humanity that leaves a wake of death behind it. The killing of rhinos for their horns. Elephants for the tails and tusks. Big cats as trophies. Red wolf probable extinction. Or the collateral damage of other animals - western pond turtles due to habitat destruction. And so on. This is not okay with me. I believe the violent responses I feel come from the overwhelming sense of complete and utter powerlessness. Yet, what can be done? Hundreds upon hundreds of conversation groups exist. I give to many of them. And the death continues. I'm not callous to human suffering, but I am especially attuned to the death of non-human sentient beings. 

This ends my confession.