Marriage Equality Finally a Reality in Washington State

Throughout the campaign to pass marriage equality in Washington state, many religious voices were raised in opposition. Both the National Organization for Marriage the the LDS pumped in millions of dollars for its defeat. Their efforts proved ineffective, however, and marriage equality finally became reality. This past week, couples lined up to receive their marriage licenses. Choral groups serenaded those in line. It was a celebratory event that spread throughout the downtown area. Then, on Sunday, couples were finally able to marry. The King County Courthouse opened to hundreds of couples that streamed through line to be married. Two couples were married Sunday evening at a performance of the Seattle Men's Chorus. And, at Seattle First Baptist Church, couples married en masse. During the evening, the Paramount Theater opened for a giant wedding reception with speeches by the governor and other dignitaries, but more importantly, for dancing and celebration. So many have waited so long to do something so normal and so holy; it was time to party.



My own denomination, heck, even my own congregation, is not of one mind on marriage equality. We will be offering the same kinds of marital support at my church for all couples. If two people support and love one another, live in fidelity, and pledge their troth one to the other, it is my obligation and privilege to stand with them and to offer blessings upon their union. Somewhere along the line, Protestants ceased to recognize marriage as a sacrament. While I understand the reasons for so doing, something was lost. You see, I don't "perform" a wedding or "marry" people. In this sense, marriage is a sacrament. The wedding is an outward sign of an inward grace - how we refer to sacraments. This weekend, there were many outwards signs of much inward grace. And, every church I serve will support grace in all of its forms.

I have been pretty quiet about the weddings taking place across the state - all over my city. But, I have watched them. The photos of joyful children literally hopping up and down with excitement for their two moms or two dads. Families in tears of joy. Couples in shocked disbelief that their state and some of their churches and synagogues were welcoming them in the exact same way as every other couple.

This seems like a problem for the privileged. Marriage equality. In some ways it is. But in many ways it is about basic civil rights. Basic human dignity. Basic spiritual nurture and care. There is nothing superfluous or ancillary about these things.

I know that millions upon millions of people think that marriage equality redefines marriage, perverts family, and harms children. The data don't support these prejudices, as much as fringe research projects are lifted up as proof. I know that many people are "turned off" by gay marriage by what I call the "ick factor." Yet, more and more people are opening their hearts and changing their minds. Even eight years ago, these weddings would have been but a distant dream. Today, they are reality. Let me say that again. Today, these marriages are reality, not only as an inward grace, but in the code of law...at least state law.

By no means is the fight for equal rights over. By no means is the struggle for equal spiritual care and nurture over. Sadly, religious people tend to be further behind on this than other people. However, those who try to paint all religious people with the same brush are wrong. Hundreds of couples will have weddings just as mundane and as sacred as every other couple...in churches...with ugly bridesmaid dresses...with bickering parents...and friends who show up drunk to the rehearsal. What a wonderful thought. Churches and synagogues will welcome people to no fanfare at all. That's really my dream. The celebration that is going on right now is wonderful. History is being made. But, what a day it will be when Adam and Steve can be married just as easily and without any more attention that Adam and Eve. Then we can focus more on their love and less on the political struggle. That's what will support and strengthen these families - the simple opportunity to be families.

Congratulations, history makers. Thank you to all of the civil servants who made this weekend's weddings possible. Blessings to all of the churches that threw open their doors in welcome...and repentance.

One more photo-essay, just because they are all wonderful.

happy valentine's day

Like so many other holidays begun and sustained by the card industry, Valentine's Day is here to stay. So, last night I watched "A Charlie Brown Valentine" in order to get in the mood. I love this special! I love Charlie Brown! It's not sentimentalized at all. And, as anyone who's been around for a while knows, love is not a sentimental thing; it's scary and risky, and when it disappoints, it hurts!

There are a lot of us who are like Charlie Brown, Sally Brown, and Linus Van Pelt. I remember the anxiety of going to class on Valentine's Day. Like Charlie Brown, I hoped each year to be a member of the group, receiving a lot of notes telling me that I belonged. Inside, though, I still wondered if I would I get any cards. I often didn't get a lot of them. I was a little bit of an oddball - smart, read too much, and a little on the fringes of things. There have been times that I've been like little Sally Brown, so sure that the one she loves will love her back only to be disappointed. There she sits so proud to know that Linus will give her a big box of candy, but he runs out of the rooom to give it to their teacher. She yells, "Why is he in the parking lot with my box of candy?" And then there's Linus, reaching beyond his grasp to offer his love. He can't find the courage to offer his gift to the one who has captured his heart - his teacher. After finally settling on his presentation, he learns that she is gone. He runs to the parking lot to find her with her boyfriend, arriving just as they pull away in the car. He stands there with his heart in his hands - literally. What a genius cartoon. What a true commentary on life.

This Valentine's Day I am lucky to know where I belong and that I have special love in my life. I have places to offer my heart and people who will receive it in return. Too many of us don't, though. And, I don't think our churches are doing a good enough job to welcome love fully into our midst and share it freely with others. Our churches are too much like Charlie Brown's classroom where some are loved. some are left, and some are invisible. Good ol' Charlie Brown is a great prophet for our churches today. He reminds us of the deep marks that our thoughtlessness leave. I wonder if our churches change enough that one day I'll pop in my Charlie Brown movie and something else will show up on the screen with all of the kids loving and being loved without exclusion.